Beware!: Children at Play (1989)
Directed by Mik Cribben
Troma. One word review right? You know what you’re in for when you see the word Troma. Shlock, cheese, corn, whatever. This popped up on a list of disturbing movies so I had to watch it. Plus it is a horror movie with kids killing people and getting killed, which is rare right?
There is a cult of kids, in the pine barrens of New Jersey, that kill people. Apparently they worship Beowulf or something, idk it is kind of shoe horned in. In typical Troma fashion, the storyline is kind of thrown out the window, so is the production quality! The acting is on par for Troma, so yeah bad right? The special effects were hilarious. There is a scene where a guy gets cut in half with a scythe and he pulls himself apart, it is gruesome and probably the most believable gore in the movie.
The end is what everyone talks about. The villagers realize these kids are killing people and are brainwashed. So they decide to get revenge, and they go on a kid killing spree. These aren’t teenagers, some of the kids are like 4 or 5 and it is a little disturbing. The acting is so bad though you have to laugh. My favorite scene is when an older kid, probably around 15 gets his head blown off with a shotgun. I laughed so hard at that. I love a good head explosion, and a bad head explosion even more. This was Threat Level Midnight quality haha. I was almost waiting for Agent Michael Scarn to say “jokes on you, that guy was a convicted animal rapist!”
Beware Children At Play is bad, yes very bad. Is it worth a watch? Yeah, I think so. I had fun during some scenes just laughing at the absurdity, but parts also drag on. I found myself saying “wtf am I watching” numerous times. This all makes this movie hard to grade. I think I’ll settle on a C-, comedy factor boosts this greatly.
