Silent Rage (1982)
Directed by Michael Miller
A slasher movie, starring Chuck Norris? Count me in! Silent Rage is an interesting movie, it tries to be many things: a slasher, an action movie, a sci-fi movie, and a martial arts movie. Surprisingly with all those intentions it does fairly well, at least for the slasher subgenre.
Silent Rage is about a man that had numerous scientific experiments done on him, which causes him to be an unstoppable killing machine. Only one man stands in his way, Chuck Norris. I guess if I was to choose one man to stop a genetically altered, self healing, lunatic it would be Chuck. No one fucks with Chuck!
The acting is fairly decent, especially for a slasher movie. Chuck Norris is never going to win an Oscar but he’s always likable and charismatic. He was perfect for this role and his sidekick was spectacular, his partner was decent as well ;). Brian Libby plays John Kirby the killer, he’s menacing as hell and always super sweaty. LIke my fat ass this past summer, dear lord Michigan calm down with the 90s degrees and 85% humidity, we are a fat state! Libby’s eyes are scary as hell, he did such a great job.
One thing that was a little unnerving, aside from the killer, was the Chuck Norris sex/love scene. Not sure I ever needed to see Chuck fooling around with his girlfriend. At least it wasn’t super gratuitous and I’m surprised Chuck did it at all, since he’s a devote Christian. Either way it was uncomfortable haha. Chuck’s deputy was the comedy relief, a bumbling fatty that is dimwitted and kind at heart. Stephen Furst plays deputy Charlie, sadly he is no longer with us. He did a great job of being silly but not groan inducing.
The kills are really nothing amazing, but they’re effective. The first one where John hacks a woman with an axe as she begs and pleads for her life was intense. Not gory at all but unnerving for its realism. The fight scenes are fun, because its Chuck Norris kicking random bar losers and biker gangs. I laughed out loud at the end where Chuck gives John Kirby the Attitude Adjustment into a well like he’s John Cena. I guess Kirby’s time was up, Chuck’s time is now, you can’t see him, his time is now. Chuck Norris is the only person that can see John Cena. I had to throw in a Chuck joke.
I enjoyed this movie. Was it amazing? No, but it definitely was entertaining and I’d probably watch it again. Heck I might even review it on the podcast (Rock Video Rental, shameless plug). I’d give this a solid C+.
