Cooties (2014)
Directed by Jonathan Milott & Cary Murnion
In the bizarre world of horror movies, very few things seem to be off limits and the killing of children is typically one of the few that is rarely touched upon. So when I saw a movie that was a horror/comedy involving rabid zombified children attacking people I was pretty surprised, and intrigued. With zombie movies being pumped out by the hundreds (thanks Walking Dead) any slight change in the genre turns heads. Cooties definitely had my attention, the trailer was interesting and the cast was appealing, but does it deserve a watch?
Cooties is centered around a group of elementary school teachers whom are fighting to survive an onslaught of child zombies. The outbreak is started by a contaminated chicken nugget served to a young girl in the cafeteria and madness soon follows.
The cast is actually pretty good for this type of movie. Elijah Wood plays the main character Clint, whom is a substitute teacher at the school. Clint is buying time and making money while he writes his horror novel about an evil boat. He loves to tell everyone about his novel and he’s usually met with the same reaction you have…ummm what? Along with Wood we have Rainn Wilson, probably better known as Dwight Schrute from the US version of the Office (amazing show!). Wilson plays the gym teacher Wade. Wade is your typical ex-jock, still obsessed with his past glories of state championships and high school popularity. Wade’s girlfriend (portrayed by Alison Pill), and Clint’s high school crush is also a teacher at the school named Lucy. As the film progresses the tension between Clint and Wade increases. The other characters are Tracey, the effeminate teacher played by Jack McBrayer from 30 Rock, Rebekkah the bitchy good-looking teacher played by Nasim Pedrad from New Girl, stoner crossing guard Rick played by Jorge Garcia of Lost fame, and lastly the socially awkward science teacher Doug played by Leigh Whannell producer of this and the writer of Saw.
The special effects are pretty good, there is a good amount of blood and gore. The rabid children feel threatening which is impressive due to their small stature. You really feel the tension between Clint and Wade. Wilson, sadly will probably always be seen as Dwight Schrute. That character was so incredibly written and acted that it is hard to see Rainn as anything else, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a great actor. Wilson and Wood have good comedic timing and play off each other very well. I enjoyed the nice little jab Wilson has at Wood when he indirectly calls him a Hobbit. I was not much of a fan of Pill’s portrayal of Lucy, I felt she was rather one dimensional and sort of odd. Whannell impressed me a lot in this movie, he was easily one of the funniest characters and portrays the awkward science nerd very well. Whannell’s character Doug is probably most important part to the team’s survival because he is inventive and resourceful.
The comedy in the film was decent. There were a few times where I laughed out loud and other times where I felt they were trying a little too hard. Wade struck a few laughs with me due to his unabashed love for himself. Clint is a good straight man to Wade’s wackiness and the two make a good team trying to survive. A good comedy always needs a solid straight man. A lot of the comedy comes from the complete absurdity of the plot and the over the top gore in some scenes. I just never find Jack McBrayer that funny, he plays the same borderline gay character in every single thing I’ve ever seen him in and I just don’t get it. Nasim is rather good at playing a stuck-up bitch, she’s done it quite a bit in her career but unlike McBrayer, it is effective. Whannell’s lack of people skills brings about the most laughs from me. I can relate to him in some cases. One scene when he’s introduced he is shown reading a book called “how to have a normal conversation”. Maybe I found that funnier than most, because I constantly tell my wife that I have no idea how to start a conversation, I can continue one but small talk is not my strong suit. The climax and the final scene are good fun. Watching a group of 30-40-year olds beating the hell out of elementary children is honestly just funny. Does that make me deranged? Probably.
This was a fun movie, and it only cost 99 cents to rent it on amazon so that made it even better to me. My wife actually enjoyed this movie, said it was pretty good which is impressive in its own right. Not sure if her being a preschool teacher had something to do with it or not haha. The idea was a fun concept and cast was great. The comedy maybe left something to the imagination but it wasn’t eye roll inducing like some horror/comedies. Less silly that many of the genre but not as clever as Shaun of the Dead or Tucker and Dale vs Evil. The action scenes also were very enjoyable to me, intense and pulse raising. If you are looking for something to watch this Halloween season and you’re not a huge horror fan but want a scare, check it out. I would recommend this to most people I know, whether they’re horror fans or not. Cooties delivers on craziness, gore, and action but not as much as it should on comedy so for that I give it a solid B.
