My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)
Directed by Patrick Lussier
Anyone whom has read my reviews over the last few years knows how I feel about remakes. Especially remakes of 1980s slasher films. If you don’t, well I tend not to like them *COUGH A Nightmare on Elm Street COUGH*. I can probably count on one hand how many of these remakes are truly worth my time and trouble of writing a review. The movie either has to be decent or completely horrendous for me to consider talking about it. I watched this probably a year after it was released and never saw it again. The other night I saw it was on hulu and decided to re-watch it to refresh my memory.
In the mid to late 2000s 3D movies came back with a vengeance and it seemed like 80% of the movies offered a 3D version. Yeah I know 3D movies are still going strong lately, but it was at this time that I noticed the resurgence. At the same time remakes of classic horror movies were getting remakes or “reimaginings”(aka fancy way of saying remake). There were popular movies remade like Friday the 13th, Halloween, and A Nightmare on Elm Street (kmn). Then there were a slew of odd choices, movies that are kind of forgotten by the bulk of people being remade such as: April Fool’s Day, Black Christmas (again KMN), and My Bloody Valentine. With those two trends going full force, they were bound to cross, and they did with this movie.
The plot is somewhat basic for a slasher movie. A guy kills a bunch of people in a small town, he ends up being murdered then 10 years later (that magical number for slasher movies) murders start happening again much in the way of the originals. Now the people involved in the original murders must fight for their lives and try to take out the killer again.
Disclaimer, I never saw this movie in 3D, I saw it twice at my home on a regular tv. The original My Bloody Valentine has a nice warm little place in my heart (pun may or may not be intended). While the original was fun and an above average slasher from the boom period, it is not without its flaws. The remake was an interesting take at the story. They did not remake the original as a shot for shot like many others have tried, but they took the story, names, and scenes from the original and used them in a different way. I enjoyed the change, because who wants to watch the same movie, only different and not at all as good as the original(I see you ANOES remake, believe me I see you)?
The kills in this movie are brutal and gory, to say the least. We get some gruesome deaths involving the ever-present pick axe as well as a pretty graphic kill with a shovel at the beginning. One of my favorites was the pickaxe under the chin, coming out through the mouth. It made me squirm and they actually give you a POV from the victim which is a cool concept. The killer in the film is just like the original. He is dressed in a miner’s outfit complete with helmet and mask. As mentioned earlier, the main weapon used is a mining pick axe, which makes for some fun kills.
The biggest downside to this movie is probably the acting. Most of it is pretty bad, especially from the character Tom. I referred to Tom as the poor man’s Freddie Prinze Jr, not so much on appearance but his mannerisms and acting. Also, Tom’s voice sounded a lot like Prinze’s, all I could think of was how wooden Freddie was in I Know What You Did Last Summer and its horrendous sequel. The sheriff, Axel was just unlikable to me. I know he’s portrayed that way, by cheating on his wife with her employee, but man I just didn’t like this dude at all. The “final girl” Sarah was alright, not great but not as resourceful as you would expect from a slasher movie. She’s cute enough but with basically being the only main female character I just didn’t care for her that much.
The movie moves along fairly well, there isn’t much down time and the action is entertaining. Sometimes, even with the best of slasher films there is a fair amount of slow parts that you start to trail off a little bit, but this movie sort of realizes that and keeps your attention. The 3D moments are as comical as ever, they are obvious and in your face (literally!). I would love to see this in 3D, I’m not sure if that’s possible though. I won’t spoil anything that happens in the movie, even though it is 8 years old now (damn I feel old).
While the acting was laughable in parts, the story and effects were pretty good. The death scenes were definitely a product of its time, super gory and excessive which is fun and comical at the same time. There were some pretty cool camera shots, peering down a tunnel at the killer and the POV of the victim stand out to me big time. For a remake of a classic slasher movie, I’d say this is one of the best, but it isn’t without it’s faults. If you are looking for something different to watch, give it a look, although I still prefer the original. I would give this movie a B-, it is fun and far above most remakes.
