Children of the Corn (2020)

Directed by Kurt Wimmer

Why do they keep trying to make sequels and remakes of Childen of the Corn? The original isn’t even amazing, it is corny (pun intended) 80s goofiness but I love it. Every sequel and remake seems to fall flat or just so low budget that it is ridiculous. They attempted again in 2020 apparently…

This one is a prequel so I guess that is a little different. Basically some turd kid gets a bunch of the town’s kids to follow her and take out the adults. Like the other movies, the corn has some demonic presence and control over the children. The kids decided to fight back because the adults destroyed their crops for some government payout. That pisses off some girl named Eden whom is a smug little shit. Why does it piss her off? Idk man, this movie is BORING as fuck.

The acting in this movie is a little rough. The girl that plays Eden is Kate Moyer and she’s cranked up to about 35. Granted, the main bad kid from the OG was an overacting machine as well but he was much creepier where this girl is annoying at best. This seems like a made for Syfy original, but no it did have a theatricl release during the height of rona in Sarasota Florida? Yeah very odd. It also had a release date of March 3rd of this year so whatever. Did this movie deserve one release let alone two? No it is shit. The scenes that are suppose to be disturbing are tame. The shit girl gouges out a dude’s eyes with a scythe and while it is gory it is just meh to me at this point. The effects are kind of lame as well. The gore isn’t anything impressive and the creature effects on “he who walks beyond the rows” is somehow worse than the original lol. Like a CGI mess of corn, walking like sasquatch. The ending “jump scare” is one of the most idiotic things I’ve seen in a long time. Nothing ever really dies in the corn.

Shitty CGI at its worst!

A friend of mine said to me recently “horror directors these days are caught up in making what they thing people will like, instead of what they love, there are too many posers” he hit the nail on the head right there! This movie is underlit, like awkwardly dark, but with a blue tone to it. You know what I’m talking about, we’ve seen it a million times lately. The CGI corn beast was so fucking dumb that I can’t even wrap my head around it being a reality in this movie. The ending was laughably bad. Eden walks into the corn and burns up. The next day the main girl checks out the field and Eden shows up looking like a pumpkin faced idiot and wrapping her in corn shoots. Kill me now please.

If you’re a Stephen King fan and want to see this story in a movie, then stick to the original. While the effects are dated and the acting is average at least it has a charm where this entry is brutally boring and everything that is wrong with contemporary horror. The characters are flat, the “scares” are cliche and oooooo scary kids, scary! This movie has no heart and was likely made by AI. I give this an F, walk on.