Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies (2014) Directed by Cody Knotts
If any of you reading this know me, you know that I was a huge professional wrestling fan as a kid and teen. Nowadays I still enjoy watching from time to time but I miss the Attitude Era and the old days of Hulk Hogan and Macho Man. So when I saw Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies was on Amazon Prime, I had to watch it. Obviously I was not expecting a masterpiece.
This movie has a pretty decent selection of wrestlers: Shane Douglas, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Matt Hardy, Kurt freakin’ Angle, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, So Cal Val and Reby Sky. The plot should be simpler than it really is. The wrestlers are booked to wrestle a match in a penitentiary and they find that a disgruntled booker and brother of a wrestler that Douglas killed earlier in the movie has summoned zombies to finish all the wrestlers off. They really go too far into explaining why the zombies exist, with a movie like this it should just be like, “Oh hey theres some zombies, lets kill them with wrestling moves.” The zombies in the movie for some reason attach the wrestlers with wrestling moves, pulled punches, double handed choke bombs etc. The whole thing is just rather odd.
The production quality of the movie is really poor. This seriously looks like something my buddy Andy and I would’ve filmed during our FSW backyard wrestling days. Actually, I’m shocked we didn’t come up with this idea and make it ourselves in like 2004. The only “actor” I can even appreciate in the movie is Roddy Piper, he just plays himself, he is who he is, if you like Roddy you’ll like him in this movie. Shane Douglas is probably the most annoying character, he’s completely full of himself to the point where its just unbelievable. Matt Hardy does an awful job in this movie, he’s supposed to be the ladies man and everything is so forced. My favorite scene is when Kurt Angle is introduced, he pulls out all his moves in the first 30 seconds, including ripping off a zombie’s foot with an ankle lock. The zombies are just beyond horrible, lets just put a little yellow makeup on and grown. The music is even worse. I can only explain most of it as a bad Fozzy rip off. If you don’t know who Fozzy is, they’re the metal/hard rock bad fronted by wrestler Chris Jericho. If you haven’t heard Fozzy, then you’re fortunate.
This movie takes itself too seriously and that’s where it loses me. At first I laughed so much at the beginning due to the shear absurdity of what was going on. After a half hour it loses its charm. The fact that it looks like a home movie might be my biggest beef with this movie. I understand being low budget but even the cut scenes are disjointed and bizarre. Guys will be in completely different spots in the frame and sometimes the audio doesn’t match up. Also the audio levels are all over the place, sometimes someone is loud other times they’re quiet. The main villain has a bad fake Scottish accent, I’m not quiet sure why, it doesn’t add anything to the movie and there is nothing in the plot that calls for it. As you would guess the dialogue is pretty awful as well. Most of the dialogue is grunting, catchphrases, and swearing. If you are a big wrestling fan, you might enjoy it but otherwise just stay away. I give this a D-, it isn’t the worst movie I have ever seen, but its pretty damn bad.
