Halloween (2007) Directed by Rob Zombie
Why are there so many remakes? For every My Bloody Valentine 3D there are at least five Black Xmases. In other words remakes are rarely decent. Rob Zombie’s Halloween brings up different feelings with almost every person you talk to. There are a bunch of people that hate it, and others that praise it. So how do I feel about it? Well…let’s see…
I want to start off saying that I saw this movie in the theater when it was released. When I first saw it in theater I really enjoyed it, but I wasn’t a huge fan of the original classic. I remember having this in my list of remakes that aren’t bad. The brutal scenes I really enjoyed and liked seeing more of the back story on Michael Myers. The acting as a whole I believed was solid and enjoyed seeing Michael ruthless and strong.
This year was probably the 3rd time I watched this, counting the theater viewing. This time around I had a different look at it. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I have seen millions of horror movies since then or the fact that my love for the original Halloween has grown a lot, but I really found myself annoyed with Rob Zombie’s version. I have seen almost all of Rob Zombie’s movies now and I have noticed some common trends. First is obvious, he has basically the same cast in every movie, that’s not a real complaint by me. Second, every movie has this damn green tint to it. Why does every RZ movie have a green tint to it? I’m sure the point is to make it look dingy like the old exploitation movies but it really doesn’t it just looks like the camera team didn’t know how to adjust the camera. The third thing is everyone in the movie is basically just a piece of shit. Most of the characters are deplorable at best. With slasher movies it is usually nice to have a character that you care about and you feel bad when they die or cheer when they conquer the killer. Even Laurie in this film is annoying as hell, I didn’t care if she died or lived. I’ll get into that more later, believe me.
The first third of the film shows Michael as a kid. Of course he has a dysfunctional family, completely with piece of shit step dad or whatever the hell he is. His mother is a stripper and his sister is the school bicycle. Michael is shown early to have a soft spot for his little sister “Boo.” Michael has a bad temper and has shown signs of psychosis. I don’t like this for one reason, I liked in the original how Michael was just evil, there was no reason why, he just was. In this version they try to make him a sympathetic character, which in some slashers really works but falls flat here. The actor playing Michael just isn’t good and he’s odd to say the least. It is just impossible to believe that this moon faced little kid becomes the murderous Michael Myers. All the kids seem to have foul mouths, beyond what most kids would be at the age they are. The dialogue is so awful in parts, one kid says to Michael “you think your mom would suck my dick for a quarter while I suck her tits?” Genius, just amazing dialogue.
The second third of the movie is basically Michael in the asylum and as an adult. Again you get a bunch of crappy characters including a guard that calls Michael a retard and has a friend rape another patient in front of Michael. Really the only person other than Dr. Loomis that treats Michael like a real person is Danny Trejo’s character, whom of course Michael murders, because why not? Michael is like 7 feet tall with long hair. He looks like late 90s WWF Kane with a Shatner mask on that he grabs in the floor of his old home. During this time we meet Laurie who is just kind of dull. She isn’t the smart and resourceful girl that Jamie Lee Curtis portrayed in the original, she is more of a smart ass bookish girl. I know both of those traits don’t really make sense together, believe me I wondered the same thing. Two of the girls are so similar that I can’t even remember which character is which. They look a lot alike and basically act the same. In the original PJ Soles stood out as the kind of slutty girl with a smart ass personality, her character of Annie was one of the more developed characters. Annie in the RZ version is just kind of there. The scenes leading up the finale are basically shot for shot from the original, except with less impact.
The finale can be summed up with one word…”Screaming.” My lord is there a lot of screaming. Laurie does nothing but scream, gasp for air, and cry in the last 20 minutes. How many times did Jamie Lee Curtis scream in the original? I’m not quite sure the number of times but I can guarantee its less than 20 minutes worth. Scout Taylor Compton’s audition must have been short, “here just scream as loud as you can and run.” I found myself wanting to turn it off multiple times during the last scene, but I persevered for you guys, you’re welcome! The movie wraps up, no spoilers here but it just doesn’t have the same impact the original had.
In conclusion, the remake just isn’t great and upon further viewing I seem to dislike it more and more. I find myself having less interest in seeing Rob Zombie’s movies and I really don’t care to watch 31. The sequel to his remake, Halloween II I remember being even more brutal than the first one. I watched it and felt like I wasted my time and energy. Maybe I should watch Halloween II again, many people say it is better than the first and has more of Rob Zombie’s vision that was restrained in the first one. I would give this movie a C-, I know I hated on it a lot but it is at least watchable, at least until the final 20 minutes. It is not the worst remake ever, but it is far from the best.
