Oct. 27th: The Last Slumber Party (1988)

The Last Slumber Party (1988)

Directed by Stephen Tyler

I like garbage, hell you might call me a garbage collector when it comes to movies.  Hell yall know I love me some slasher movies.  Sometimes I find a movie that is both of those, sometimes I love them, but sometimes those movies are The Last Slumber Party. Deep in the unwiped asshole of shot on VHS slasher movies, lies the festering turd that is The Last Slumber Party.

               Do you want to know what this movie is about?  Well an escaped mental patient (sigh…naturally) starts killing people and quickly targets a group of “teenage” girls having a slumber party to celebrate the last day of school.  I say teenage in quotes because I swear the one girl is in her late 30s.  That is how simple this story is and it’s a run of the mill high school slasher movie, with nothing special to talk about really.

               The acting is as amazing as you would expect from something like this.  I can only guess the budget was about $7 and a bag of chips.  The camera work is slightly better than Sledgehammer, which isn’t saying much, I shot a horrible documentary in college that had better camera work.  These shot on video slashers are really difficult for me to enjoy at times.  I just can’t get over the bad home movie feel of them.  I have seen a few of them and none of them are worth the tapes they’re recorded on, at least in my opinion.  The story is non existent, the kills are boring, and the killer is just a guy dressed like a surgeon, wearing a mask like he’s going grocery shopping during the global pandemic. 

               If you’re looking for something so bad that it’s funny, you might want to look elsewhere.  This is just so bad that it’s bad.  I’m such a nerd that I keep track of all the slashers I see and the ratings, this is currently the second worst I’ve ever seen.  So congrats to Blood Lake, you still hold the title!  I give this a D-, Blood Lake….I’ll get to you later.