47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019)
Directed by Johannes Roberts
Sometimes sequels come around and you wonder, why in the hell did this get made. That is where this movie fits in. The first one was…ok I guess, nothing too amazing. I guess if you’ve seen one Jaws wannabe you’ve seen them all right? Well here is a sequel we didn’t ask for.
47 Meters Down: Uncaged (hell I’m calling it 47 Meters Down 2 because this title makes it sound like the unrated version of the first one) is about a group of girls that dive down into a flooded area of Mayan Ruins and are picked off by some evolved form of shark. Yeah it is as dumb as it sounds. It really is just kind of a mix of Jaws and The Descent but those movies are both great. Basically they’re running out of air, the ruins start collapsing and they have to find their way out in time whilst being chased by this crazy shark.
The acting is overall very wooden. Sophie Nelisse plays the main character Mia and she is boring, she’s not super likable or interesting in any way. Her friends are also equally paper thin and dull, one played by Sistine Stallone, the second daughter of Sylvester Stallone. No one at all puts in a performance worth any mention. The characters are dull, one dimensional and annoying.
The special effects are laughable for a movie that is only a year old. The shark looks fake as hell and the overall design is nothing spectacular. It looks like a great white with dead eyes, lame. The kills are your typical shark movie fair, just people getting devoured, that’s all. I guess I don’t understand the shark movie fascination. They’re all pretty much the same and most of the time the shark looks like crap, so why bother?
I apologize for not having much to say, but this movie is so forgettable. The only thing I’ll give it is some of the scenes give you that small claustrophobic feeling like the Descent, but they’re not handled nearly as well. You find yourself rooting for the shark after a while because of how dumb and vapid the characters really are. It blows my mind that this movie made $46M, seriously. Why did this do so well? I can’t give this movie anything higher than a D+, it wasn’t horrible or the worst ever but it isn’t that fun and I’ll never watch it again.
