Sharknado (2013) Directed by Anthony C. Ferrante
Alright I have heard a lot about this dumb movie, so I figured I should probably watch it, since it is on Netflix. This was a made for TV movie, a Syfy original, so you know it is great! With a two million dollar budget and left over washed up actors I figured it was only going to be amazing. There may have been times where I feel asleep last night watching this, but it is not because of the movie, it is because I’m battling allergies, and I made the mistake of lying on the couch with the dog.
A twister hits Los Angeles causing sharks to be scooped up in waterspouts and flood the city with shark-infested seawater. Bar owner and surfer Fin (Ian Ziering) sets out with his friends Baz, Nova, and George to rescue his estranged wife April (Tara Reid, yeah that dumpster fire). While going to April’s place, the group stops in a freeway to save people getting attacked by sharks. George is killed and the group learns of a tornado warning. They get to April’s house just before the floor is flooded and shark-infested. Sharks eat Collin, April’s boyfriend but the rest of the group gets out safely.
Fin stops the car to save children that are stuck in a bus. Some flying shit kills the bus driver. Nova is driving the car and a shark lands on top and rips the roof off, because that is possible lol. Fin’s hand gets cut and the group abandons the car before it explodes, because why wouldn’t it. They steal another car and meet up with Fin and April’s son Matt, who is taking shelter at his flight school in the hanger. The tornado hits and Matt’s instructor is sucked out of the hanger in hilariously fake fashion. It is worth nothing that the special effects in this movie are quite terrible, almost Mortal Kombat Annihilation bad. They borrow some stuff from a storage locker and Matt and Nova become attracted to each other, because you know there is time for that when sharks are flying all over the place. Matt and Nova decide to stop the sharknadoes by tossing bombs into them from a chopper. The last thing I’d want to do when there is a tornado outside is go into a chopper, doesn’t seem safe to me. Two are destroyed but they are unable to stop the third tornado.
As Nova fights off a shark that chomped on to the chopper, she falls off and directly into the mouth of another shark. Matt is heartbroken, because he loved her, for like 5 minutes? Baz is also lost in the storm along with two of Matt’s friends. Fin destroys the last sharknado with a bomb attached to his car and the sharks begin to plummet towards the ground. One falling shark flies directly toward the remaining members of the group. Fin jumps into the mouth with a chainsaw and cuts his way out, badass. Fin comes out carrying an unconscious but alive Nova. Matt is reunited with Nova, and Fin is back with April. Hopefully Matt bangs Nova because she’s a babe, April however is disgusting because she’s Tara Reid.
Wow, that’s all I can really say. It is funny how this movie has such a cult following. Usually movies that are purposely absurd and stupid piss me off, but this one isn’t that bad. Yeah the acting isn’t great but it is not the worst I’ve ever seen. I have a hard time seeing Ian Ziering, Steve Sanders from 90210 as a badass. I feel like this would have been better if Kevin Sorbo was the main character or something, bring back Hercules lol! At least he would have been an apposing character. The special effects are bad, just bad CGI sharks all over the place, but hey the budget was small and it was made for Syfy, so you really can’t complain. Like I mentioned before Nova is sexy, Cassie Scerbo plays her. She’s not a terrible actress and it is nice seeing her run around in a tank top most of the movie. I just hate Tara Reid, her voice drives me insane, and I hate the fact that we are always suppose to think she’s hot. Sorry that woman has been gross since American Pie 2 ended. If you are looking for a stupid movie to laugh at, my first suggestions would be Deadly Prey or Miami Connection, but Sharknado is more easily accessible so give it a watch. Don’t go into the movie expecting greatness, turn your brain off and enjoy the stupidness. I give this movie a C, it is not awful and it is at least entertaining. You can do much worse in the comedy horror genre, believe me. Have you seen Jack Frost 2? That may be the worst movie I’ve ever seen, just sayin. If you think I’m full of shit, email me 31horrormovies@gmail.com
