Creepshow (1982)
Directed by George A Romero
Anthology movies were a thing for a while. Maybe none better than Creepshow. It seems that anything after Creepshow hasn’t really quite worked aside from the awesome VHS movies. When you combine Stephen King with George A Romero, you have magic. It is hard to talk about a plot as a whole for this movie, seeing that it is five mini movies in one with a wrap around. So I guess I’ll just cover each entry.
Story 1 is called Father’s Day. The plot is about a family meeting for a family dinner and telling the story of the family Matriarch, Great Aunt Bedlia. Her father was an asshole and treated her like shit, so she killed him. Well fast forward to now and Bedelia keeps hearing her father’s voice asking for his cake for Father’s Day. She visits his grave and he unearths as a zombie and kills her. Soon the zombie comes for the rest of the family. It is kind of slow and a little dull, the effects are pretty good and Ed Harris is in it so that’s nice. It is ok but not the best of the bunch, I give it a C.
Story 2 is the Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill which has Stephen King playing the titular character discovering a meteorite in his backyard. Being an idiot he touches it and burns himself, he tries to cool it down and it bursts open and releases some blue goo everywhere. Soon he discovers anything he touched after touching the meteor is growing some weird alien vegetation. The vegetation slowly takes over his body, home and is spreading down the road. In agony he ends up killing himself and we see the vegetation trying to spread to other places. King’s acting is the hammiest you can find outside of a Troma movie. He is really goofy and over the top…METEOR SHIT! The story is simple but kind of unnerving honestly. The vegetation looks pretty good and King looks creepy at the end. I enjoy this one for how silly and fun it is. I give this entry a B.
Story 3 is Somethign to Tide You Over. Ever wondered what Leslie Nielsen could do in a horror movie? Here you go. He’s AWESOME! He plays a man named Richard Vickers whom kidnaps Ted Danson as Harry Wentworth, whom has been sleeping with Richard’s wife. He makes Harry dig a hole on the beach and climb in. Now burried up to his neck in sand, Richard tells Harry his plan. He brings a tv down and shows him Becky, Richard’s wife and Harry’s lover in the same situation, live broadcasted. He informs Harry that the tide will show up and he better hold his breath. Soon the tide rolls in, Harry and Becky drown and Richard feels great knowing he got the last laugh. Shortly after Harry and Becky come back as zombies and capture Richard, putting him in the same situation and telling him to hold his breath. The acting is awesome in this movie and everyone’s goofy grandpa Leslie Nielsen is genuinely scary. Ted Danson’s voice seems a bit odd in this movie, I’m not sure if it was just the copy I watched but he didn’t sound like Ted. He was also pretty good in this. Again the effects are pretty solid and the idea itself is really terrifying. I give this one a A-.
Story 4 is The Crate. A janitor at a University is cleaning up and notices a big crate under the stairs. Curiousity strikes and he calls Professor Stanley to come check it out. They open the crate and a harry ape like monster rips off the arm of the janitor and devours it. Terrified, the Professor runs to his friend’s place. The friend, also a Professor named Henry, he explains what happened and Henry drugs Stanley. Henry then comes up with a plan to invite his overbearring beast of a wife (played by the lovely Adrienne Barbeau) to come to the University for something. When she arrives he allows the monster to kill her and set him free from her constant overbearring ways. Henry then recrates the creature, cleans up, puts the crate in his car, dumps it in a lake and comes back to his house to meet Stanley. The men agree to let the authorities sort the disappearances out. The end shows the monster breaking out of the crate. This is my favorite entry, it is such fun. I love Adrienne Barbeau, she’s always amazing at playing the bitch. Which is funny because she’s always struck me as a very kind and down to earth woman in real life. Hal Holbrook as Henry was also really good in this, he has a very subtle approach. The creature looked cool and his nickname is fluffy, which is pretty funny. The Crate is easily an A for me.
Story 5 is They’re Creepy Up on You. This one follows Crack Griswold’s father in law, being a bastard like he always is. He’s a terrified of germs and bugs, so of course his encased apartment gets infested with cockroaches. Slowly the roaches take over everything and end up killing the guy. Idk, there isn’t much to say about this one and it is the weakest entry by far. The acting is decent, I mean EG Marhsall always seems to play a miserable turd. The roaches are gross and effective. I just don’t care for this one, and got up and went to the bathroom during it in theater haha. I give this a D+.
All in all Creepshow is a great time. The stories are short enough that if you aren’t really enjoying it, it ends quickly, and if you’re loving it, it makes you want more. The effects are great because Savini, he’s always great. The acting is pretty solid throughout. Give it a watch and kick back and have fun like I did. Creepshow gets a B+ from me.
