Halloween Ends (2022)
Directed by David Gordon Green
My favorite movie is the original Halloween. When they announced that Jamie Lee Curtis was returning in 2018 for another movie named Halloween, I was excited. The movie ended up being pretty good, and I enjoyed it. Halloween Kills followed and man the first half hour was fast pace carnage, then they took a detour with a mental patient that derailed the whole movie and it never was able to regroup. Halloween Ends literally just came out, and I had a chance to watch it…
Oh man. What are the worst movies in the Halloween series? Some hate Season of the Witch, but cmon thats amazing! Halloween 5? Yeah that’s a bad one but there are worse. Halloween 6? Yeah that one is worse, but still has some entertainment. Halloween Resurrection? Woof that one blows! Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2? Ok that one is the worst, I’ll still stand by that. Halloween Ends though? Where does that fall? Towards the bottom for sure! The plot. IMDB says the plot is: The saga of Michael Myers and Laurie Strode comes to a spine-chilling climax in this final installment of this trilogy. Guess what? That is so general that you’ll likely be disappointed or pissed like I was. Spoilers ahead btw.
Allyson has a boyfriend now! Yeah! Oh and Laurie is just fine, over all her trauma and is living in a nice house with her granddaughter…awwww. Oh the boyfriend, Corey? Yeah he accidentally killed a boy he was babysitting, and got arrested for it. The people in town harass the guy, which makes him lash out. Oh and he ends up stumbling across Michael Myers, whom DOESN’T KILL HIM! No, why would an unstoppable killing machine with no remorse kill Corey? Oh they have some kind of odd connection…I guess. Now Corey is killing people and using Michael to kill people. Yes you read that right. Michael is being controlled by some doofus 20 year old named Corey with floppy hair and Dahmer glasses! Isn’t that great! I know I’ve always wanted to see Michael Myers be someone’s bitch! So the movie goes on like this for about another hour then FINALLY, Michael and Laurie square off. First though, Corey has to try and kill Laurie, he fails and dies. Michael and Laurie wrestle around and Laurie ends up pinning Michael down with two knives and slits his throat. Allyson helps her slit his wrists and he bleeds out. The cops strap him to the roof of a car, they take him to a junkyard and throw his body into a big shredder. No coming back from that, pretty definitive.
The special effects were pretty decent, lots of good gore. Michael getting ripped up in that shredder was pretty gruesome. The young boy that Corey kills accidentally was brutal as well. We get yet another head stop by Michael, that’s getting a little played out by now though. The pacing of the movie sucked. It was almost 2 hours and really felt like it. The acting was pretty good which is sad because they wasted it on this shitty ass movie. Rohan Campbell did a good job as Corey I just hated the character. Why did he have to have some connection with Michael? Why did he have to bitch Michael out? It would have been better if he was just a misunderstood kid, that was actually a good guy, so you felt some sympathy for him. Then when he discovers Michael, he should have been slaughtered and Michael starts his rampage again. I know it is the same story over and over again with this series but when they try to go in a different direction, it always seems to be at the expense of Michael. Why did you make the most menacing killer get pushed around by some random ass kid? WHY?! The Cult of Thorn sucked a lot but at least there was some black magic involved not just some weird looking into each other’s eyes and finding a connection bullshit. Ugh.
If you haven’t seen this movie, don’t go to the theater. I luckily caught it at the end of a 6 movie marathon. I had to choice to watch this or Dead Alive and I wish I would’ve just saw Dead Alive. I love Jamie Lee Curtis, she’s a great actor and cool person but I’m happy she’s finally done with these movies if this is how they’re going to go out. Hate all you want on Halloween Kills but at least Michael wasn’t some pushover. I give this movie a D-. The acting saves it from an F.
